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Saturday, December 19, 2009

Merry Christmas!

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Hey guys,

In a few minutes I'll be catching a cab to the airport for my flight to Peru, where I'll be spending most of the 3 weeks of Christmas vacation. There won't be any blogging, but I bought a journal with like a werewolf or something on the cover, and January will be Journal Transcription Month.

Also, today's post is the 100th published post of Xave's Xlog, but I don't want to make a big deal of it, because there's a more important birthday coming up. Anyway, hope everyone has a great Christmas and New Year, and I'll see you later!

Xave

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Sunday Smorgasbord

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It's 8:55 PM on Sunday night. I haven't thought out a blog post, but I didn't want to leave you guys in the dark, so I'm just going to write whatever comes to mind until 9:10, at which I'm going to drop everything and hit the publish button. Expect discontinuity and choppy grammar.
  • this is the last week of school before Christmas. The schedule is kind of weird: on Tuesday we have an early dismissal and then, I think, staff meetings all day.
  • On Wednesday we have another early dismissal, this time for a special event called Christmas Blaze. Last week, my boss, the secondary school principal Omar, asked me if I wanted to "participate" in Christmas Blaze. I enthusiastically replied that of course I would. Later, I found out "participate" actually meant "be one of the teachers kids pay money to throw pies at". Talk about lost in translation.
  • After Christmas Blaze, there is a secondary staff party or something.
  • I wanted to have parties in all my classes on Friday, but someone told me not to plan anything for Friday, cause there will probably be a whole school something. Or something. I dunno, nobody has mentioned even the first thing about it. Typical.
  • In addition to all these events, I scheduled tests for all my classes this week. I still haven't made the tests.
  • Also, I'm leaving for Peru on Saturday.
  • So this means, these are the things I have to do this week. 1) make 2 tests, actually probably more than that because I want the tests to be slightly different for each section. 2) make study guides for both grades. 3) mark the tests before the end of the week (2 of them are on Thursday). 4) mark all the other stuff I have to catch up on. 5) enter all my grades from the beginning of the trimester into Excel. 6) export all those marks on to Engrade, a website I use to show my students their grades online. 7) I'm sure I'm forgetting like 8 hundred million things.
  • And that's just the school stuff. Also: 8) plan/pack for Peru. I'll probably end up buying anything I need in Peru. 9) a secret project that I can't talk about but despite my inability to talk about it will nevertheless take up at least a couple hours. 10) once again, robably forgetting a lot and I just spelled probably robably but I don't have time to go back and change it even though it probably took more time to write this explanation and also look it's not that i'm complaining that i don't have any time, it's just that i imposed this deadline of 9:10 to write this blog post! what am i talkinga bout?
  • ok, 5 minutes left. Here's what I did this weekend:
  • Yesterday, I went with a co-worker, Karen (not the Karen I usually mention, Karen #2), to a music studio where her boyfriend's band was rehearsing. Their drummer was late so I got to sit in for a while, and it was a lot of fun. They play classic rock, a lot of Eric Clapton, and originals as well. I was very impressed - they're an excellent band. Apparently they won the Miche Rock Festival in 2008, and as a result went to a huge rock festival in Bogota. I went to the Miche Festival this year, which you can find in the blog archives, but the 15 minute nature of this post prevents me from linking to it cause it takes too long!
  • After that we went to a bar to see a friend-band of theirs, which was pretty good.
  • Oh man, 2 minutes left.
  • Today I went tot he beach with Karen and Elizabeth. We enjoyed a leisurely lunch, which wasn't actually all that leisurely, because the wind was seriously some of the most intense wind I've ever seen, and the entire second floor restaurant we were in was literally swaying. Karen's half full beer bottle fell over, knocking over her other bottle, which rolled to the edge and fell to the first floor (okay, I'm breaking my time limit for this one correction: by Karen's "other" beer bottle I mean her already empty one. We had a very long wait for our food. Karen is not an alcoholic.) . Also, later on I was sitting in our cabana while the ladies swam when I was surprised by a wave that not only made its way all the way up to the cabanas, but was KNEE DEEP, and swept all our shoes away. OH MAN 10 SECONDS LEFT OKAY PUBLISH POST NOW BLOG! SEEYA GUYS LA

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Candle Day

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Today is a holiday here in Colombia, the purpose of which is to celebrate the Immaculate Conception. The actual name of the holiday is something that I probably can't spell in Spanish, but it translates to Candle Day (it sounds better in Spanish).

Yesterday, in expectation of the upcoming day off, I asked people about the traditions of Candle Day, and heard varying things. Among the alleged traditions:
  • lighting candles
  • fireworks
  • getting up at 3 or 4AM for candles and fireworks
  • getting up at dawn for candles and fireworks
  • partying
  • drinking, specifically rum
Karen and I decided to wander around the neighborhood last night to check out the festivities, but I don't think anything had really started, aside from a couple of small apartment-building-front-yard parties. We saw a lot of lights, but most of those were probably just Christmas lights. And we went to dinner and then headed across the street for a beer, but neither location seemed unusually busy or celebratory.

At 3AM I was awakened by noise. I looked out my window and sure enough, there were some fireworks. I don't know why it's a middle of the night thing, but yep, people really do get up in the middle of the night to celebrate.

Now, in order for you to fully realize my observation of the celebrations, I need to describe my state a little more. Obviously I was drowsy, having just been woken up. And I only watched the fireworks for about 20 seconds, because that's when they ended. So I didn't have enough time to shake myself into full consciousness, and coupled with the fact that I was watching something fairly out of the ordinary, this brief fireworks viewing was perhaps the most dreamlike thing I've ever witnessed that actually happened. And this next part is the sort of thing that makes me believe it really was just a dream, but I'm pretty sure they were shooting the fireworks, inadvertently or not, at the walls of the apartment building, where they bounced off before eventually finding a patch of air to explode in.

There you have it: a foreigner's semi-conscious account of the festivities of a holiday he doesn't fully understand. If that's not classic travel blog material, I don't know what is.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Nitrogen is a Common Xave Element

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Let me be upfront. This post is about farting. (I'm not sure if farts actually contain nitrogen, but whatever.) Specifically, my farting habits. So if you don't want to hear about that, just close the tab now. (And if you don't use tabs, get off the internet, cause you internetsuck.)

Ha ha, I knew you wouldn't leave. Who doesn't want to hear about farts?

Anyway, I wasn't always a farter. Actually, that's not true: I've always engaged in my share of flatulation, but it (my flatulation) used to be mostly odorless. I don't know what changed, but in the last couple years, all my farts, without fail, smell awful.

I've noticed it particularly in school. It's a constant struggle to keep it in. It started last year when I did my two practica at Ottawa schools, and as far as I can remember I was 100% successful at holding it in, or at least confining it to my teacher area where it couldn't spread. But this year the teacher area is much less well-defined; just a small desk instead of a big lab bench. The lab bench, completely befitting of a physics classroom, was very effective at Fart Diffraction Prevention. Also, I have students coming up to me all the time, a big difference from last year when I would mostly visit them at their desk, when if there was an incident, I could pretend to be busy with something for a minute until the air cleared.

Consequently, my stifling success rate has dipped below 100%. There have been several times when I've dropped a serious bomb right in the student area, and in most cases they definitely knew where it came from. A couple were so bad they I totally cleared out the area, with the students dashing for cover on the other side of the classroom. Unfortunately, I didn't make any jokes about it the first couple times, and now I can't bring it up because it's awkward. But they definitely know me as the farter.

Fortunately, it's not quite as bad as it sounds. For one thing, as far as I can remember, all the really bad incidents luckily happened with the same class (I have 4 different classes). Secondly, my fart prevention has improved quite a bit. I can smell it coming a mile away now (not literally, thank god), giving me enough warning to prepare my butt muscles accordingly, and it hasn't happened for quite a while.

Hopefully my reputation as the farty teacher will start to diminish as the time since the last incident grows. But I must always be on the lookout, for a single infraction could ruin all my hard work, and I will once again be known as Dave Butt.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Joke's on Me

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Yesterday, I wrote about a colleague's newly-formed blog that I helped name. The name is kind of ridiculous, but she went with it anyway, so in yesterday's entry I wrote (only half-jokingly) "joke's on her".

Well, even though I was kidding (kind of), what went around came around, and I was the butt of not one but two running jokes yesterday, which I will now elaborate on.

After school yesterday, the regular crew of Friday soccer players, which includes a mix of teachers and maintenance workers, headed off to another school to play our first match against a different team. Upon arrival, I discovered that I didn't have my shorts. I could've sworn I had packed them in the morning, so I was somewhat baffled. Just when I was about to go ask a colleague if he had an extra pair, the affable (and non-English speaking) phys. ed teacher Jairo held up a pair of shorts that looked suspiciously like mine.

Before I go on, allow me to describe these shorts. I've had them for a very long time, more than 5 years for sure. They're just a regular pair of athletic shorts, and really the only ones I've had for, probably, the entire time I've had them. I've just never needed another pair, because they're good enough. A year or two ago, the drawstring broke, and now they look kind of ridiculous, because the waistband is kind of frayed upwards, but as long as I cover it with a shirt it's okay, and despite the lack of drawstring they still stay up.

That is, they did until yesterday. When Jairo found them, the lack of drawstring led him to believe they were the property of a very large person, and so he held them up and stretched them out for all to see, while joking that they must belong to Ivan, the large English teacher. Soon I recognized them as mine and was relieved that I wouldn't have to scrounge for an extra pair of shorts.

But when I got out on to the field to warm up, I realized that Jairo's stretching had made them a little too big, and I could only run for a few seconds before they started to fall down. By the time the game started, I hadn't yet devised a system for keeping them up, because I wasn't sure how big a deal it would be. But I quickly discovered it was, in fact, a big deal, when on my first ball possession I had to basically run while holding my shorts. Soon after I figured out that I could tuck my shorts into my boxers to hold them up, but not before my teammates had a good laugh.

The game was pretty good; the other team was better than us, but we kept it close, and trailed 3-1 at half-time. The second half was a more lackadaisical affair, especially on our part, since it was pretty hot (like usual) and we were playing on an actual-size soccer field, much bigger than what we're used to. Despite our lack of effort, though, we kept the score at 3-1 and it looked like it would stay there.

But then, somehow, we ended up on a 3 on 1 attack, with me being one of the three. Aldrin, one of the janitors, passed across to me, and I shot... right into the goalkeeper's stomach. But he couldn't hold on, the rebound came right back to me, and I tapped it into the open net.

This led to what could have been a great moment. Upon scoring a goal, a common celebration for soccer players is to take off their shirt and run around. It occurred to me that I could perform the same type of celebration, except instead of taking off my shirt I could pull my shorts down and run around with them around my ankles. It would have been hilarious. But I chickened out. Such a missed opportunity.

Anyway, the game ended 3-2, but we were all in good spirits afterward. The conversation inevitably turned to my shorts, and the joke became that I should be on the receiving end of the charity clothing drive that is currently happening at school for the holidays. Actually, that might be a good thing to do with my newly-gigantic shorts...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Linky Friday

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My Seattleite (is that the right word for someone from Seattle? I hope it is, because it's great, and if it is and I've heard it before I never realized it until now. It should be spelled Seatellite) colleague Karen blogged about a concert-show thing we went to. In the interest of efficiency, I won't be blogging about it, so just check hers out. Also, I already told you about our Thanksgiving dinner, but Karen's entry adds a couple of details and a couple more pictures.

Another colleague, Fathima the art teacher, started her own blog, and she's going to blog about art stuff she does in school, which sounds super-great! If that weren't incentive enough to check it out, I came up with the name for her blog, and even though she didn't get it at first (not being a native English speaker), and also even though it's ridiculous, she went with it! Joke's on her.

A few quick notes:

Last night I attended a choral competition that my co-worker Mario is participating in. It's a week-long contest - there was an opening show on Monday, I forget on Tuesday, then semi-finals on Wednesday and last night. There are 2 categories: little choir and big choir. Mario's group is in the little category, and it's a group of 8 guys who do all kinds of stuff - from baroque to barbershop. And they're really, really good. Like, this is purportedly a contest for best choir in Colombia, and I can believe it based on the level of the groups. Tonight is the final, which Mario's group is in, and I'll surely be in the audience.

Before that, though, there's a much-hyped soccer match between our school's staff and some sort of police school? Or... Police Academy? I'm not really sure. But hilarity could ensue. Also, apparently students are coming to watch it. I'm not sure how they found out about it, I thought it was just a low-key match between 2 schools. I better be on my A-game though.

Finally... I booked my Christmas ticket to Peru! I'll be there for 3 weeks, including a 5 day hike on the Inca Trail which ends in Macchu Pichu. Needless to say, There Will Be Blog.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Technology in the Classroom

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I have decided that there are 6 ascending levels of technology in the classroom. They go as follows:

1. Blackboard (if you can really call it technology)
2. Whiteboard (hm, guess boards are racist)
3. Overhead projector
4. Powerpoint projector
5. Smartboard (guess boards are intelligencist also)
6. Laptops

A blackboard is the most basic. I consider whiteboards an upgrade primarily because of the ability to write in different colours - even though I was never the type to take notes in multiple colours, in any level of my education, I've firmly adopted the practice as a teacher, and many students follow my lead (or already possessed that habit), making their notes that much more organized and insightful.

Overhead projectors are the next level, and in public education, is probably the level most schools are at, and are attempting to transition to level 4, Powerpoint projectors. By the way, when I talk about schools being "at" a certain level, that means the technology exists in every classroom. In most cases, technology is in either all or just a few classrooms. There are few schools that have, for example, Powerpoint projectors in half their classrooms. It's usually everywhere, or one for each department, for example.

Smart Boards are the new hot thing, and the 1:1 laptop program (where every student has a laptop) is clearly a step up from even that.

Okay, now a bit of context. Ontario public schools are generally at level 3, and almost all schools have bits of level 4, while many have a few level 5s and 6s (by "a few level 6s" I mean computers in the classroom - computer labs are not part of this discussion because they're not in the average classroom). International/private schools have a much broader range - my first practicum was at a fully level 6 school, while many others are 4 or 5, some with a partial 6.

And then there's the low end of the international school spectrum, which brings us to the impetus for today's post. My school is a level 2, with a very few 3s and 4s available for occasional use, and no 5s or 6s whatsoever (there is a computer lab, but it's almost always in use for computer class, and there are no computers in classrooms). I can honestly say that, less than a year ago, I never would have thought I'd be teaching in a classroom without at least an overhead projector.

You might be thinking my whining is a little extreme; of course there are thousands of classrooms far more ill-equipped than mine. But this is an international school, a school for the elite, and I don't see any reason why they shouldn't at least be on par with the public school system in Canada. It can't be for lack of money, I don't think.

Look, technology is not a gimmick. It is a teaching tool, and if you ask me, an essential part of the classroom. Here's how technology would improve my classroom:

Level 3: I would be able to prepare all my lessons ahead of time, so that when the students enter, it's already sitting up there. This forces them to get to work immediately. I would also never have to turn my back on the students, which makes a big difference. They grab onto those moments and it's difficult to wrest the class back.

Level 4: It's cleaner and nicer-looking than overheads, and has many more capabilities. Specifically, it's great to be able to create shapes and insert them into the class slides - which is certainly possible on overheads - but the big difference is, you can animate the shapes with PowerPoint. This is incredibly powerful in math, as you can show shapes changing size, rotating, flipping, etc. Another advantage of PowerPoint is being able to e-mail the notes to the class at the click of a button.

Level 5: SmartBoards may seem like a small step up from PowerPoint, and in many ways they are - many of the main advantages are extensions of PowerPoint capabilities, such as the ability to manipulate shapes and other stuff. I will readily admit I'm no SmartBoard expert, but I've seen some amazing stuff they can do, and I hope to soon be in a classroom with one so I can learn a thing or 2. But I think in 10 years or so SmartBoards could really start to explode - computers are moving towards touch screens, and as more and more people start to use things like iPhones and touchscreen computers, the population will get much more comfortable with this type of interaction, making the SmartBoard a more intuitive and useful tool.

Level 6: I'm sure many teachers would dread 1:1 laptop programs, since they'd assume the students would just be on Facebook the whole time. It's a legitimate concern, and I'm not sure it would be a great idea at my school, but in my first practicum last year, it was amazing. There are huge advantages when this type of program works: the teacher e-mails out the notes ahead of time, so students never have to spend any time writing notes down, and the entire lesson can be spent actively learning.

These aren't just minimal improvements. Each level of technology is a major step up that adds quite a bit of value from an educational standpoint. Except for maybe the jump between level 1 and 2, for which the main advantage is the ability to use colours. Not really that big a deal. And yet it's the only leap my school has taken.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

My First American Thanksgiving

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My first American Thanksgiving also happened to be my first Colombian Thanksgiving. Now, Colombians don't actually celebrate Thanksgiving, but because my school is kind of American, we got the day off. Only they don't really "get" Thanksgiving, so we got Friday off instead of Thursday.

Anyway, my colleague Karen had previously made noise about trying to make some pumpkin pie when Thanksgiving rolled around, so about a week ago I reminded her of this promise, since I love pumpkin pie. Well, we eventually decided to make a whole Thanksgiving dinner, so on Thursday we headed to the local supermarket for supplies.

The biggest question was what we would use for pumpkin, since there are no pumpkins here, and there certainly isn't canned pumpkin. In fact, I haven't seen any pies here (that's sort of a lie, I think there are frozen Sara Lee or whatever ones, but I haven't seen any at bakeries), and after asking a couple of Colombians, we discovered they don't even have a word for pie.

Anyway, we found what we decided was the closest thing to pumpkin, which became known as "The Thing", because we forgot its name. Here's what it looked like:



Yeah, I dunno, some kind of hybrid squash/pumpkin/green thing. It actually smelled/tasted more like pumpkin than anything else. Upon the recommendation of Karen's relatives, we baked The Thing for a few hours to soften it up for the pie. When we took it out of the oven, we really had no idea if it was good to go, but Karen decided to live by the tenet "as long as you can stick a fork in it". I decided this was a lesson that should be applied to many facets of life.

The other challenge with the pie was that we didn't have a pie pan, so we ended up making something more like pumpkin pie squares, but in the end it turned out pretty well.

The rest of dinner consisted of a chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, sweet potato carrot purée, a Rooke/Rutt family tradition (with The Thing substituting for sweet potatoes), and a salad (Karen took pictures, if and when she puts them up I'll let you know). Pretty traditional Thanksgiving stuff. We had briefly considered the fact that, since Colombians don't celebrate Thanksgiving and don't have any expectations, we could really make anything we wanted and claim its place in the Thanksgiving canon, thus enabling us to include dishes such as nachos or pizza or whatever. In the end, though, we went traditional for our own sake, even if we were celebrating on the wrong day (and in the wrong month).

While dinner was distinctly North American, the guest list was distinctly South American: by which I mean, highly subject to change. When my mom asked how many people were coming I said "somewhere between 5 and 12". When the designated time rolled around, it looked like we weren't even going to fit into that overly broad range; there were only 3 people, Karen and I and one guest, our co-worker Cecilia. Fortunately, Elizabeth, who had been feeling very sick, mustered enough energy to join us, and brought her boyfriend Yoyi. And continuing in the Colombian tradition, 2 more guests wandered in at various points. Though this meant they got cold food, it also facilitated another Thanksgiving tradition: seconds (and beyond). Each time a new guest arrived, everyone (or, at least, I) went for a new round of food, partly to keep the new arrival eating-company, and partly (okay, fully) because Thanksgiving dinner is great.

After dinner, the traditions continued with the traditional loosening of the belts and the traditional almost falling asleep on the couch (despite the lack of triptyphan (I'm sure I'm engaging in yet another Thanksgiving tradition of misspelling that word)). We finished off the wine Cecilia had brought, and soon we were all snugly in bed, full and happy. A very successful Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Science Fair

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So, I bet you're wondering what that picture is all about.

Well, it came about as a result of the science fair my school had yesterday. Let me tell you about said science fair.

But first, I should say that as far as I can remember, I've never been to a science fair. I vaguely remember doing a science fair project in grade 7 or 8, and my topic was optical illusions; you know, the old/young lady, vase/face, straight/diagonal lines, etc. But I barely remember how all these projects were displayed; it might have just been a little in-class fair. And that was the only event I remember attending even coming close to a science fair. In high school, science fairs were an extra-curricular activity that only a few people partook in, and I didn't come across any during teachers college last year.

HAVING SAID THAT, I knew what to expect, since the science fair is a pretty well-known phenomenon. I had even crossed 1 or 2 projects in their preliminary stages, so I was ready.

I arrived at Combarranquilla, the location of the science fair, which is also some sort of cross between a country club and a rec center? That I got a membership to as part of my contract but I don't actually know what the membership does since apparently I still have to pay to go there? Anyway, there were 2 big rooms: one for grade 2-6, the other for grade 7-12. Shortly I was tracked down by Gilberto, the chemistry teacher, who thrust 3 projects into my arms to evaluate, because another teacher had called in sick. This suited me fine, because it would be more interesting than the alternative, being on duty, and would also be considerably less work, since 3 projects really isn't very many. Others were evaluating up to 10 and were busy all day. Oh, and when I went to evaluate the third, for some reason it had already been judged by the specified number of 2 adjudicators, so I really only had to grade 2. On top of that, the remaining 2 were almost the exact same project. And they were about music. I think it's safe to say I got off easy.

So, I totally just used that crazy picture to draw you in so you'd have to read my boring stories. Suckers!

Just kidding, the explanation is coming. Hold on to your horses.

So, naturally, I took advantage of all that free time in a couple of ways. First, a co-worker and I took a leisurely 1.5 hour lunch (who am I, an investment banker?) and walked around the club, checking out their facilities, which included 2 cafés of different fancinesses, a bar, a restaurant, a gym, a pool, a couple of party rooms, and a small cinema, which is currently playing Gone With the Wind, and which I tried to find a schedule for, only to discover the theater opened literally a week ago and they haven't figured out any sort of schedule system yet. (The whole place was only 4 months old, someone told me.)

The other thing I did with all my free time was check out most of my kids' projects. Here are some anecdotes:
  • one group of grade 7 boys studied the effect of cell phones on muscles. In order to do this, they had me hold out my arm without my cell phone in it, and then pushed down on it, instructing me to resist. Then they repeated this trial while I was holding my cell phone, attempting to prove that I was weaker while holding my phone, because of the electromagnetism or whatever. Except that they pushed down WAY harder when I was holding my phone. Haha. I don't know if this was their methodology for the whole project, but, um, guys?
  • another group of grade 7 boys made things out of banana peels for their project. It was pretty sweet, actually - they made soap, air freshener, and one other thing that I can't remember.
So what about that picture?!?!?!?!!? RELAX YOU WILL FIND OUT SOON.
  • A group of grade 8 girls studied contraceptives, asking whether we should use them or not. Their conclusion was that we shouldn't, instead we should use abstinence. Sounds like a sex ed. video. I really have no idea what their methodology was to get to this conclusion, but that's not what I wanted to mention. On their poster, they had a series of 6 pictures of the effects of STDs. While examining the poster, one of them (the girls, not the pictures) asked me if I knew what the second picture was. It was a guy with some sort of rash on his face. I was like "um, I dunno", to which she replied "c'mon Mr., you know what it is." and I was like "um, some kind of rash?" Her response: "No Mr., it's a penis!" to myself: "okay, that is clearly a man's face, not a penis. What?" Then she pointed to the picture, which was a different one from the one I was looking at. It was the 2nd picture in the bottom row (2 rows of 3), so it really could only have been referred to as the 4th or 5th, depending on the order in which you count. I dunno where she got 2nd from. Anyway, regardless of the fact that it was her fault I was looking at the wrong picture, it's definitely embarrassing.
  • Speaking of embarrassing situations, I was checking out the project of 2 grade 8s, a boy and a girl. The girl was really enthusiastic to show me the project, and at the end gave the boy a big hug and said something like "I love (name), we're such a good team!" to which I replied "Great! Good luck!" She misinterpreted this strictly science fair-related sentiment and quickly clarified "oh no Mr., we're not dating!" I told her I was talking about the science fair, which in retrospect was a mistake, because she was embarrassed and probably wouldn't have been if I had just been like "oh, okay."
The day wrapped up around 2:30, and I was hanging out in the judges room waiting for some peeps to be ready to go. It was at this point that someone brought in a cage of 4 hamsters, and announced that the kid who had acquired them for their project had decided at the last minute not to use them, and was going to just throw them away! So the grade 9-10 biology teacher humanitarianly decided to adopt them. Naturally, she was showered with compliments about her generosity, and also one warning from the grade 7/8 English teacher: "be careful, you might get rabbis!"

Thursday, November 12, 2009

(Colombian) Kids Say the Darndest Things, Part 5

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Before you read this, check out (Colombian) Kids Say the Darndest Things Parts 1, 2, 3, and 4!

Unlike the other entries in this series, this isn't a collection of little darndest things; it's one big, amazing darndest thing.

The set-up: my grade 8s did a project on probability. The first part was some pretty plain mathy stuff, but part 2 involved researching something in real-life in which probability is useful. This actually wasn't very well done, including the one I'm going to relate to you; most kids just made something up that is completely unrealistic. It was mostly my fault for not giving detailed examples of what I was looking for, though.

Anyway, here is one full response:

Keith is totally in love with Annie Jane, and they have been dating since they met four years ago. They both think they make a great couple, but Julien, Keiths best friends thinks they are not meant for each other. So Keith is gonna have two blind dates to see wether he stays with Annie Jane or with one of the new girls Julien have selected for him.

If Keith feels bad, imagine how Annie Jane is gonna feel while she stays at home waiting for Keith to come back from his blind dates.

At the end, he needs to choose who he wants to keep seing his girlfriend of four years or the new girl, Julien have selected for him.

The probability that Keith selects or chooses Annie Jane is

97/100

and that he selects one of the others is

1/100 1/100

and that he stays alone is

1/100

because he is totally in love with Annie Jane and he doesn't even know the other girls.

Brilliant.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Steves

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One night last week, I met a former co-worker for drinks. She now works at a different international school, and she was with a few of her current co-workers, and even though I'm trying to avoid hanging out only with other gringos, it was nice to relax and not have to concentrate really really really hard on every word being said.

Anyway, one of these new friends, Tom, told me that he plays basketball regularly with some other teachers. I asked him if I could join in, and he wasn't sure, because it's actually a league, rather than just regular pick-up ball, as I had originally assumed.

On Saturday, I went to a party hosted by another teacher at this other school, which is called Karl C. Parrish. I met a lot more gringos (the teaching staff of Parrish is nearly half North American, as opposed to my school, which has 3 of us), including a couple more members of the basketball team. They told me a bit about the league, and related some fun basketball stories, including one about an interesting character named Steve. Steve, I gleaned, is your traditional nicest-guy-ever-but-incredibly-intense-when-playing-sports. Not to the point of being a jerk, just hyper-competitive. Apparently, you can't tell Steve to calm down, because his response will be (with crazy eyes): "I am calm."

Anyway, I got to experience the legend of Steve first-hand last night, because one of the bball party-goers had been the captain, and he got me onto the team no problem. The descriptions of Steve proved accurate. The best Steve moment was when he was on the bench and an opposing team member was standing close by, waiting for the play to start, and Steve remarked very calmly: "what, are you gonna shoot? you could build a chimney with all the bricks you're putting up" despite the fact that the other team was all Colombian and didn't speak English. Just the Steve way, I guess.

Later on, I was chatting with another team member, Joe. Joe told me he was from Minnesota, and then asked me something like "so, where are you from, Steve?" It threw me off for a second, but then I remembered: in order to get me on the team, they had to claim I was someone else, someone who works at Parrish, I guess. So, on the team, I'm Steve #2. We'll see if I inherit any of the traditional Steve traits.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Number Two

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The end of the trimester is approaching rapidly at school. Trimester exams start on Friday and run through next Friday. The math exams are on Monday, so I spent the weekend making the two that I had to make (grade 7 and 8). And then, yesterday, I made the study guides for my classes. I printed them off today, and before lunch, during one of my breaks, I looked around for each of my 4 classes to get the study guides in their hands as soon as possible. In the last class I visited, I asked one of my students to bring me the extra copies. She did just that - she found me in the hall right after lunch started as I was on my way to the bathroom and handed a few extra copies to me.

Wow, today's blog entry is just fascinating, ain't it?

Anyway, then I was in the bathroom. (this is only getting better.) I did my business, which in this case was of the prolonged type, as the title suggests. I looked around. There was no toilet paper. I checked the paper towel dispenser - there was nothing there either. So I panicked. This was a single bathroom - no other stalls I could quickly move to. I thought about the possibility of walking extremely carefully to the closest bathroom, but it was a floor down, and a bit of a hike, and I really didn't want to go that route.

Then, I looked behind me and saw the study guides that I had just been given.

Right, so you fill in the rest of the details.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Minca in 10 Pictures

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So I never really got around to blogging about my trip to Minka a couple weekends ago, even though I wrote a whole preview about it. I dunno, I think it was just a little daunting after setting the precedent of a whole week of blogging from my first weekend getaway to Taganga. Anyway, I thought I'd just pick 10 of my favourite pictures to semi-illustrate the story.

(for more on the Minka trip, check out K's coverage!)


We met a Colombian family at a coffee shop in Minca, and they offered us a ride much higher up into the mountains. I had a huge ass-bruise the next day.

I got a lot of great animal shots on the Taganga trip, but this was the only really good one this time around.

High up in the mountains there was a bird reserve. We saw this guy right after entering, which seemed promising, and then barely saw any more for the next 2 hours.

For mom and dad.

Cool mountain house.


Cool mountain mist.

A domesticated monkey. The funniest was when the father of the family we met was playing with it, the little girl of 2 or 3 was delighted, except when it came to close to her, and she burst into tears. This happened on an alternating basis for quite a while.

Cool mountain river.

Dude we found hanging out in our cabana the first night we stayed in Minca.

This is Chuzo, a popular dish around here. What you see are tiny crispy potato shavings, kind of like hickory sticks, covered with a couple of mayo-y sauces. Underneath lies pieces of yuca, a root that's kind of bland on its own, but provides a nice comic foil to the chorizo sausage (it can also come with chicken, beef or any combination of those 3 meats), lettuce and a ton of grated cheese. I actually think it's too much cheese, and next time I stop by my local food stand I'll ask them to hold back. (this picture has nothing to do with Minca, just thought I'd throw it up. The picture, not the food)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Watching the World Series

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So, yeah, I know, I haven't posted anything in about 2 weeks. It's not that I haven't written anything - I've started several posts only to get stuck about halfway through. I think maybe I'll start posting shorter entries to keep myself motivated, since 2 or 3 paragraph snippets are much easier to whip off in a few minutes. I'm sure you guys won't mind losing some of my long-windedness.

Anyway, something that occurred to me as I'm sitting here watching the World Series: there are many ways to follow a baseball game. You can watch on TV, listen on the radio, or follow on the Internet by following someone's live-blog, or using one of the real-time graphical interfaces like the one on mlb.com. You can combine media to make it more complicated, too - personally, I've watched the game on TV, muted the sound, and turned on the radio, since the Blue Jays' radio broadcasters are great. I've also listened to radio broadcasts over the web while loading up one of the real-time GUIs to get a bit of a visual. Here's another one: I've followed games by constantly texting friends who were watching the games. (it's also possible to text a service that sends you an automated update.) The possibilities are endless.

But I think I've hit upon a new one. I'm following the World Series in a way that baseball might never have been followed before. Here's how it works: I'm watching on TV, but the broadcast is in Spanish, so in order to get some analysis, I'm constantly checking Twitter for updates from the 4 or 5 baseball writers I follow who are tweeting about the game. I call it: "twatching". No, never mind, that's not what I call it, that's terrible, sorry.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

(Colombian) Kids Say the Darndest Things, Part 4

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Before you read this, check out (Colombian) Kids Say the Darndest Things Parts 1, 2 and 3!
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One day, my class entered while I was listening to music. Specifically, I was listening to Stevie Wonder, so, predictably, the grade 7 boys told me that "this music sucks mister, you should listen to Guns n Roses and ACDC and Green Day and" etc. I told them that I do, in fact, have some Green Day on my computer, to which one of them began to guess which songs I have. "Do you have American Idiot?" "No." "Do you have Holiday?" "No."


And then came this gem:


"Do you have Basketball Case?"

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There's a school science fair coming up, and one day as I was wandering through the hall I encountered 2 of my grade 8's surrounded by a stack of papers, furiously working away on laptops. Wondering what they were doing in the hall during class, I approached and asked what was up. They told me they were working on their science fair project, which was studying the effect of listening to music on concentration. This involved having other students do short math tests while listening to different types of music. Straightforward enough.


Except that one of the types of music they mentioned was death metal, and the student who was finishing up as I approached was a cute little grade 4 girl. I found this hilarious.

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I need to tell you about S. He's a student in grade 8, and I think the best way to describe him is that he seems like he's high all the time, in a dazed, forgetful sort of way. It's not that he seems dumb - and he's not - he just seems like he's having one of those days. All the time. I'm not exaggerating when I say that he forgets his glasses at LEAST 50% of the time, and when this happens, he moves his desk to be about 3 feet in front of the board, so that I'm basically running into him when I try to teach. His notebook is incredibly disorganized, he's always finding stuff he thought he had lost 2 months ago, etc. etc. But somehow his disorganization isn't frustrating, just kind of hilarious.


Anyway, suffice it to say he's one of my more entertaining students. Never was this more evident than during our most recent test, when he inexplicably started dancing in his seat about 5 minutes into the test, and basically didn't stop for the whole hour and a half (sometimes out of his seat too). He kept raising his hand as if he had a test question, and then asked me if I liked his dancing. And then when he really did have a question, he sang it, and I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.

-----


I've started to really enjoy tests in this particular class. Not because I don't have to expend all kinds of energy explaining stuff and keeping the class focused (though I like that part too), but because both times we've had a test, I dunno, I just feel like we've really come together as a family! For example: during the first test, this annoying bird kept buhkawing or whatever sound it made, and we couldn't close the window because that was one of the days the school lost power. So I went over to the window and gave a curt "ssh!", which apparently worked. The class uniformly thought this was the funniest thing in the world, and was a welcome break in the 90 minute long test (that's a friggin' long test for grade 8s).


A similar thing happened during our recent test. I guess there's a virus going around, because a lot of people were sniffling, and about halfway through the test, the collective sniffling got so frequent that it prompted one non-sniffler to address the class out loud, begging with everyone else to shut up. Of course, this only made things worse, as a number of non-snifflers decided to join in to make it more of a thing. A low murmur began to permeate the room as the chorus of snifflers grew ever louder and sillier. Finally, the dam burst with its logical conclusion - a full-on sneeze, precisely timed to cause the class to erupt in raucous laughter the likes of which hadn't been heard since the bird incident.


It was bound to happen - it had to happen. The sneeze was the only way it could have gone. I had even considered throwing a sneeze out there myself. But it became obvious soon after, when the sneezer followed up with 2 or 3 more, that these were real sneezes. Maybe it was just a coincidence, or maybe the escalating Sounds of Sickness had triggered something. Whatever the cause, it was perfect. And hilarious.


And the sneezer? S, of course.

Monday, October 19, 2009

An Unexpected Consequence of Moving to Colombia

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Before, I tell you, got any guesses? Could it be that I can no longer say the word "bucket" without winking with my left eye? Or that I forgot how to use shampoo? Or maybe, I've suddenly gained the capability to naturally excrete pure iron?

No, none of those is the correct answer, though if it was the 3rd thing you can bet I'd be getting in touch with Canadian engineering schools. Actually, the unexpected consequence I wish to tell you about today is that I've become substantially clumsier.

At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but after 2 months of data, the sample size is becoming undeniably meaningful. I broke another glass last night, which brings me up to approximately 5 dishes on the year. I can specifically remember a mug, a pot and last night's glass, but I know there have been a couple others.

And I'm just spilling stuff all over the place. You should see my kitchen floor! Actually, it's pretty clean, but only because I mop it out of necessity basically every day. It's not just food, either - 2 days ago I knocked an entire frying pan, complete with frying sausage, onto the floor, where it landed perfectly upside down, covering the sausage.

I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've put my hand on something hot, or forgotten that a pot of water had just been boiling, or gotten off a moto-taxi and badly burned my leg on the exhaust pipe. Okay, that last one only happened once, but it definitely scabbed up and I still have a mark a week and a half later.

I've even near-electrocuted myself a couple times. Most recently, I had a huge stack of dishes in the sink, waiting to be cleaned. Because of this mess, water wasn't getting through to the drain, so as I was cleaning, the sink began to fill with water. Suddenly, I got a shock and instinctively jerked my hand out of the water. Confused, I examined the scene and discovered that my new electric orange juicer was one of the dishes in the sink, and was not only still plugged in, but had somehow turned itself on. Smooth, Dave. (it happened another time with my razor)

And of course, there's the physical trauma. I've probably walked into walls, or quickly gotten up in a low ceiling areas, and even managed to get kicked in the nuts harder than I ever have been before, but the most infamous (if you're a regular reader, anyway) incident was when I stubbed my toe. Oh, and I haven't blogged about this since immediately after it happened, but I think there's a pretty good chance I broke it. It hurt for a solid 3 weeks, but I never got it checked out, partially because I'm lazy, and partially because a friend told me there's almost nothing you can do about broken toes.

The question is: what's the reason for this sudden increase in clumsiness? Is it the heat? Maybe it's the language barrier? Like, I haven't learned how to cook in Spanish yet? Or something?

I dunno man, it's pretty weird. I do have one plausible theory, though. Here in Barranquilla, almost everyone has a maid, and it has been recommended to me multiple times. Most of the instances in which I've engaged in clumsiness were during menial tasks that a maid would likely be doing. I guess the universe is trying to tell me something.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Antenna Yoga

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You know when people go to such extremes to get a good TV signal (with an antenna, you know those things from the not future?) that they're standing there balancing on one foot while tangled up in the curtains and holding the antenna in precisely the manner that gives a clear picture? I've got that going on right now.


Allow me to elaborate. I'm trying to watch playoff baseball, which I apparently get on one of the 3 channels that is at all watchable on my TV. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy about this, even if it is in Spanish, despite the reception horror story that follows.


Anyway, first I moved over to the lounge area of my living room, taking my computer with me so I could look up Spanish baseball terms. This caused the reception to go all staticy. I eventually discovered that if I held my wireless USB internet device in a precise spot it would work, but unfortunately that spot was about a a meter and a half off the ground. I would have to, I dunno, suspend it from the ceiling or something.


Okay, can we talk about this for a second? Really, TV? Holding a small USB wireless internet receiver in one particular cubic decimeter of air improves the TV signal that by that much? I always thought those one leg standers were fooling themselves. Apparently not.


It gets more ridiculous, though.


Since I couldn't figure out a way to sit on the comfy loungy chair and have my computer at the same time (you can't sit on your comfortable loungy chair and eat your computer too!) I moved back to the deskal area, turning the TV to face said area. I plugged the computer power cord back in, and.... yep. There goes the static.


Okay, so the TV is 8 feet away from me and plugging in a little power cord to my laptop makes it freak out. They are coming from the same power bar, though, maybe this one makes a little sense.


So I left the power cord out, planning on plugging it in between innings to keep the computer juiced (not unlike A-Rod... zing!), and went back to my business of whatever I was doing. Whatever it was, it involved scrolling up and down. So I formed my right middle and ring finger into the shape necessary to engage in Apple™ 2-Finger-Trackpad-Scrolling or whatever it's called. Following this, I picked up the aforementioned fingers (with what? Usually the fingers are the ones doing the picking up) Right, um, the fingers picked themselves up from their positions hovering over (I'm guessing, it's not like I recorded this moment) the J and K keys, sauntered over to the trackpad, and commenced the familiar motion.


You may be wondering why I'm describing the tediously inconsequential physiological processes of my computer habits in such excruciating detail. You're probably not, though, because you're probably completely uninterested, and failing that, you probably already know what's coming: the 2 finger swipe caused the TV to static it up once again. Not a 1 finger swipe. Not a click. Not typing. The 2 finger swipe.


Don't believe me? Here, I'll film it to prove it. Oh wait, now it's not doing it, of course.


I swear, it was doing it before!


Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Minka: The Preview

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If this seems oddly familiar, it's because several weeks ago I embarked on a weekend trip to a nearby town called Taganga and spent an entire week blogging about it, starting with a post called Taganga: The Trailer. I just had a 4-day weekend, surprisingly unrelated to Canadian Thanksgiving, and took a trip to another nearby town, this one a mountain village in the Sierra Nevada de Santa Marta. I don't think I have a week of blog entries in me this time, but at least a couple of days.

Anyway, one of the first things that happened on the trip was mosquitoes. Tonight, I decided to count all the bites I was left with. Below is photo documentation of my methodology.



I counted 147.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Octobarch Break D. Day and Other Notes From Nowhere

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I lied, they're notes from Barranquilla, Colombia.

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I don't think I've mentioned this yet - currently, my school is on a week-long break. The students, anyway. The teachers have professional development all week, except Friday, which we're getting off in addition to Monday's holiday. Given the similarity of this week to Canada's March Break and also P.D. Days, I've termed the week "Octobarch Break D. Day". Hopefully it plays out more like your typical Octobarch Break than your typical D. Day.

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Since we have a 4-day weekend coming up, I'm probably gonna take off somewhere. Originally, K and E and I had planned to go to La Guajira, a coastal desert (oxymoron?) region not too far from here. However, one of the main draws of La Guajira at this time of year - flocks of thousands of pink flamingos - is being decimated by an unexpected shark attack. The regions where the flamingos can typically be viewed are shut down, and this really is an unexpected attack - apparently it's never happened before, or at least not on this scale. It's definitely disappointing, but also kind of hilarious, and ironically not the first time this blog has featured animals unexpectedly eating other animals.

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Today, for the first time, my iPod application that's just a pure white screen (i.e. a flashlight) came in handy when the power went out around 10PM. Stupidly, the first thing I did was use it to find my one candle before realizing that lighting said candle had become superfluous with the re-discovery of the App.

Also: this power outage illustrates another reason the wireless USB internet device I get my internet from is useful. I can't turn on a light, listen to the radio, or watch TV, but I can be on the internet. For about 10 minutes, anyway. My battery sucks so much. Sorry if this entry seems hastily thrown together, my impetus for writing it was the aforementioned lack of power, preventing me from doing what I was doing before (marking), and I'm trying to squeeze this in before my computer randomly shuts down at 56% battery, which actually only takes about 13 minutes to get to (I just calculated based on what's left).

Sunday, October 4, 2009

The Colombian Frat Party

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Last night, I went to a party. When I walked in, it immediately struck me as similar to the North American frat party, so one of the things I spent my evening doing was analyzing the similarities and differences.

(Another thing I spent my evening doing was inventing a new dance, called the beer dance. This is used when you're dancing and you want to take a sip of beer - you don't want to keep dancing normally, because it looks stupid, so you have to invent a special dance that you only use when taking said sip. There isn't one universal beer dance, so feel free to invent your own - it's just important that it's distinct from your regular dancing.)

Anyway, frat party comparison chart:

Similarities
  • it was in a huge house. well, actually in the huge backyard of the huge house
  • there was constant loud music played by a live DJ and, eventually, a live band
  • girls got in free, guys did not
  • upon entering, I got one of those annoying paper wristbands that always gets stuck to my arm hair
  • there was an ever-present cloud hovering over the party area. though i've listed this as a similarity, the smell was stronger than any i've ever encountered before, and was remarkably constant throughout the whole party, which is especially impressive considering it was an outdoor area
  • there was a distinct lack of shirts
  • there was a pool outside, but it was empty, so it became an empty beer bottle receptacle
Differences
  • there were no kegs
  • (related to the previous) there were no keg stands
  • the host of the party was the family who lived in the house, not a frat. (i'm not even sure if the concept of frats exists here, i don't think universities have on-campus housing - almost everybody lives with their parents through and well past university age) also, the mom, who coincidentally works at my school (this really is a coincidence, i found out about the party from someone else), was taking tickets at the door rather than being out of town and having no idea about the existence of the party
  • there weren't any douchebags (then again, I haven't encountered any in 2 months of being here, so maybe I just don't know what to look for yet)
  • (related to the previous) there weren't any fights and/or ridiculous pranks

Thursday, October 1, 2009

(Colombian) Kids Say the Darndest Things, Part 3

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Check out (Colombian) Kids Say the Darndest Things Part 1 and 2!

In my grade 8s' first test of the year, I asked the question: "Think of two real life situations when the Pythagorean Theorem might be useful. Explain why it would be useful, and how you would use it." The question was generally very poorly done; even the best answers were things like "if i want to find the shortest route from my house to the mall", which is full of holes: am I to assume you know the lengths of the perpendicular sides of such a triangle? How did you measure them? Won't finding the shortest path involve physically walking through buildings?

Also, most of the answers were boring, like the one described above.

One student, however, gave me not one but two answers that were both well thought out and creative. I should mention that, before this, this student had not stood out at all; I thought she was fairly average. Well, she was the only student in 2 classes to ace the test. Anyway, here are her 2 responses:
  • "Let's say you work back stage in a theator. in actor has to roll under a later leaning twords a prop the actor is 1 meter long (ha ha) and the prop is 3 meters high. You would use the P.T. to see how long the later has to be." (this was accompanied by a picture of a stick figure rolling between the base of the ladder and the prop)
  • "Your decorating your room with a math theam you want to do a triangle out of pencils on pencil is 10 cm and an other is 15 cm you would youse the PT to find out how long the other one has to be."
Just awesome. Although, unfortunately, she missed out on the brilliant touch that once you find the 3rd side you could simply sharpen the pencil until it reaches desired length.

One time we were playing a game in class because the A/C was broken and there was no way those kids were doing anything productive. Even though I had told them they didn't have to play if they didn't want and could simply sit in the desks outside the circle of the game, one of my students felt it necessary to tell me that another student wasn't going to play because he had a problem with his - at this point he leaned close to whisper in my ear - testicles. Ironically, this was the day that I would later be kicked in the nuts.

From the department of Crazy Things Mr. Dave Says: I've gotten into the habit of calling quizzes "Quizzitos" - in Spanish, the "ito" suffix denotes a smaller/younger version of the thing, like perro = dog, perrito = puppy, also known as the diminutive. Anyway, my grade 7s are having a Quest this week - halfway between a quiz and a test. They asked me if it was a Quizzito, and I said "no, more of a Testito". Fortunately, even though Sex Ed. starts around grade 6 (in Canada, at least), the language barrier saved me.

After returning a quiz to one of my classes, a student repeatedly asked me if she had "won" or "lost" the quiz. She had lost, but I told her if she corrected her mistakes she could win it.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sweaty Wednesday

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So, I just looked down at my shirt and noticed something I've never seen before (on me, anyway): boob stains.

I'm skeptical they're real (they might be implants?). I mean, I'm not very sweaty in general, and today hasn't been a sweaty day - I mean, every day is hot here, but I haven't been playing sports or anything, and I've spent most of the morning in my air conditioned room. Also, even in times of extreme sweatiness, I can't recall ever seeing isolated boob stains. Maybe a whole chest drench, but never the twins.

I just had a snack, so I suppose it's possible I somehow spilled in a very precise manner without noticing. But I dunno man, that's quite a coincidence. Maybe I'm just lactating.

Or maybe this is a turning point in my teaching career. Maybe this is the moment I become the stereotypical sweaty math teacher. Mr. Boobstain. Hey, it sounds better than Mr. Rutt.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Days of the Week

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Just a short post tonight, because it's 10:56 and I gotta sleep dudes and ladies! Anyway, I just thought up this post in the shower. Enjoy!

Oh, hey guys, one thing I just noticed: I messed up publishing yesterday's post - even though I hit the publish button yesterday, it appeared on the blog as if I had published on Sunday, before Sunday's entry. It's too bad, because I think a lot of you missed out on it, especially since it was the thrilling conclusion of a two-part story arc! So check it out!

The schedule at school is pretty bizarre. Here are the many ways in which it is bizarre:
1) periods are 45 minutes long, but sometimes they're double periods (i.e. 90 minutes). I have 2 short classes and 2 long classes per week with each of my 4 classes.
2) also, sometimes periods are 50 minutes and long ones are 100. I forget when that's the case.
3) on Tuesdays and Thursdays, there are mandatory extra-curriculars for the first hour, so school goes an hour longer than usual, so the periods are all out of wack.
4) there is absolutely no pattern from day to day, just an overall weekly schedule that is (fortunately) constant from week to week - that is a recent development.
5) "period" in Spanish must be "hora", because students refer to classes as hours. This is an Abbott and Costello-inspired conversation I have every day: "do we have 1 or 2 hours today?" "We have 1 and a half." You can fill in the rest.

This results in at least 3 students wandering up to the front to check the schedule every 2.3 seconds, so most of the words I say are "sidownchekschedlatr", a combination of many words I'm trying to say all at once, which I am forced to do because of the extremely high rate at which said students are approaching the board. It doesn't deter them.

Another result of this crazy schedule is the fact that every day is different for me. Now that I'm starting to get a feel for it, I've started to anticipate/dread certain days, and just now I came up with a ranking for how strenuous each of my days is.

Now, there are 2 factors that go into ranking the days. First, how many classes I have, and second, how many minutes of class do I have - because, remember, some classes are half as long as others. So, to combine these 2 factors, I decided the final quantitative ranking would be s = c • m, where:

s = stress level
c = number of classes
m = number of minutes

The results, ranked from most to least stressful:

1. Wednesday, 900 (4 classes, 1 long, 225 minutes)
2. Tuesday, 810 (3 classes, 3 long, 270 minutes)
3. Monday, 720 (4 classes, 0 long, 180 minutes)
4. Friday, 675 (3 classes, 2 long, 225 minutes)
5. Thursday, 360 (2 classes, 2 long, 180 minutes)

Now, there are other things I could take into account, like the 20 minutes of homeroom on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, the extra hour I have to stay on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and the math club I have to run for an hour every other Tuesday, but I think I'm starting to nod off here. But one thing is clear: Thursday is the best day by a mile. And this Thursday is the best by an even milier mile, because for some reason the school hired a masseuse, and I'm getting a free massage at 8AM.

Monday, September 28, 2009

My First Riot, Part II

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Pre-requisite: My First Riot, Part I

So Doris Vespa was a little underwhelming, but still enjoyable. Hopefully I'll be blogging about them again, from a show not filled with metal-heads.

Speaking of which, the next band was the second metal band of the evening, and this time the cops were prepared. I guess a lot of people had decided not to jump the fence during the first band (or had jumped back over? I didn't see it, but that would have been hilarious, especially since it would have been way harder than jumping into the VIP section), but the cops mostly shut them down this time. They were relentless, though, and a few got through here and there.

Also, even though it didn't seem like the mosh pit was any more violent than it had been during Existential Hate, the organizers apparently thought so, and Vicious Circle was interrupted mid-set several times so that the attractive TV-personality-host-girls, with presumably-organizer-frumpy-old-dude leering over their shoulders, could tell the crowd to tone it down or things wouldn't end well. This is when things started to look like they wouldn't, in fact, end well (brilliant deduction, Inspector Xave) - chants broke out at various points in time throughout the breaks between songs, and it seemed like the chiding had antagonized the crowd even more. Nevertheless, Vicious Circle made it to the end of the set, and with no more metal bands on the horizon, things were looking up.

The next band, Rioba, was the one my co-worker MC works with, and they were billed as (i.e. she described them as) a reggae/ska band. On this night, they definitely leaned a bit more toward the ska end of the spectrum, perhaps learning from Doris Vespa's mistake, and it was definitely to their benefit. They were great. Fun music, high energy - they got the crowd into it just as much as the metal bands had. By far the best band of the night. Here's a picture of their 2 lead singers (aside: when I met MC before the show, she was carrying a broom. I asked her why, and she said she didn't know, the band had asked her to bring it. You can figure it out)


Ultimately, this ability to get the crowd into it proved to be their undoing. Or, not really their undoing, as they were able to finish their set, but the festival's undoing. At some point shortly after their set, critical mass was reached. I'm not sure how or why (I mean, I do, but I'm not sure why it didn't happen after Vicious Circle), but soon the fence between the VIP area and the ultra-VIP area (only for bands and those associated with the bands, like MC) was torn down.

Before

After

Astute readers will note that the "before" picture was taken from the Ultra-VIP side. I was one of the first ones through. Good rioting, Dave! Mad props.

Anyway, it wasn't a terribly violent riot. After the wall came down, there was a brief period of beer cans (it's a very good thing they weren't selling beer bottles) and other garbage being thrown at the hosts and organizers on stage, who were trying to calm everyone down to no avail. I don't think anyone was hurt, but I did see one of the host girls get beaned with someone that looked a little heavier than a beer can - luckily, she appeared to be fine.


After that, the concert was over, obviously, even though there was still one competitor left to play, and also the headlining act, a famous band from Bogotá called Aterciopelados who are too accomplished (seriously - look how long their english Wikipedia entry is!) to be eligible for the competition.

So, even though I've said a couple times I don't want to pass judgment on these kids (who am I, someone's dad?) for their musical taste, I will whole-heartedly pass judgment on them now. The riot was beyond stupid. You are willing to ruin a great event because you're not allowed to punch other people in the face? Get a grip. If you think you were somehow "sticking it to the man" by rebelling against the stodgy, middle-aged bigwigs of the event, think again. They're the ones sponsoring a music competition that is FREE TO ATTEND, which features bands who play THE KIND OF MUSIC THAT YOU LIKE, and all they were trying to do was ensure everyone's safety. Now, this is going to happen: 1) nobody will win the competition, because not every band got to play, so it would be unfair to declare a winner. 2) Maybe the prize money will be divided evenly, but who knows if anyone will get anything. And these are local, low-profile bands, and they could really use the prize money. 3) in all likelihood, this competition won't happen again, at least not for a couple years.

In the less immediate picture, this is a blow to the general music scene of Barranquilla. Local bands are the backbone of a great music city, and this festival was the kind of event that could bring a lot of positive exposure to Barranquilla bands. So much for that.

Anyway, after things settled down, people started to calmly (!) file out. I wandered around, and eventually found MC behind the stage with Rioba. We waited around for a while, and then decided it was time to call it a night. MC and her brother hopped in a cab and suggested I do the same, but I had one order of business remaining.

I had to get my belt back.

Despite the excitement of the music, the mosh pit and eventually the riot, the discomfort of my pants almost falling down for 5 hours (how did we do it in grade 4?!) had been at the forefront of my mind all night. MC had all but told me there was no way I was getting it back, but I was less hopeless. And sure enough: within 5 minutes of walking around the stadium I found a belt lady returning belts to their rightful owners. Each one had been tagged, so I found my belt quickly, and was soon in a cab on my way home, comfortable for the first time all night.