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Friday, October 16, 2009

Antenna Yoga

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You know when people go to such extremes to get a good TV signal (with an antenna, you know those things from the not future?) that they're standing there balancing on one foot while tangled up in the curtains and holding the antenna in precisely the manner that gives a clear picture? I've got that going on right now.


Allow me to elaborate. I'm trying to watch playoff baseball, which I apparently get on one of the 3 channels that is at all watchable on my TV. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely happy about this, even if it is in Spanish, despite the reception horror story that follows.


Anyway, first I moved over to the lounge area of my living room, taking my computer with me so I could look up Spanish baseball terms. This caused the reception to go all staticy. I eventually discovered that if I held my wireless USB internet device in a precise spot it would work, but unfortunately that spot was about a a meter and a half off the ground. I would have to, I dunno, suspend it from the ceiling or something.


Okay, can we talk about this for a second? Really, TV? Holding a small USB wireless internet receiver in one particular cubic decimeter of air improves the TV signal that by that much? I always thought those one leg standers were fooling themselves. Apparently not.


It gets more ridiculous, though.


Since I couldn't figure out a way to sit on the comfy loungy chair and have my computer at the same time (you can't sit on your comfortable loungy chair and eat your computer too!) I moved back to the deskal area, turning the TV to face said area. I plugged the computer power cord back in, and.... yep. There goes the static.


Okay, so the TV is 8 feet away from me and plugging in a little power cord to my laptop makes it freak out. They are coming from the same power bar, though, maybe this one makes a little sense.


So I left the power cord out, planning on plugging it in between innings to keep the computer juiced (not unlike A-Rod... zing!), and went back to my business of whatever I was doing. Whatever it was, it involved scrolling up and down. So I formed my right middle and ring finger into the shape necessary to engage in Apple™ 2-Finger-Trackpad-Scrolling or whatever it's called. Following this, I picked up the aforementioned fingers (with what? Usually the fingers are the ones doing the picking up) Right, um, the fingers picked themselves up from their positions hovering over (I'm guessing, it's not like I recorded this moment) the J and K keys, sauntered over to the trackpad, and commenced the familiar motion.


You may be wondering why I'm describing the tediously inconsequential physiological processes of my computer habits in such excruciating detail. You're probably not, though, because you're probably completely uninterested, and failing that, you probably already know what's coming: the 2 finger swipe caused the TV to static it up once again. Not a 1 finger swipe. Not a click. Not typing. The 2 finger swipe.


Don't believe me? Here, I'll film it to prove it. Oh wait, now it's not doing it, of course.


I swear, it was doing it before!


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