Who Pukes in the Sink?

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(for those who weren't there, this post is in relation to the party that Ben and I had on Friday night. Also, if you were involved with any of the paragraphs described below, I actually don't care, you expect this sort of thing when hosting a party. So don't worry about it)

And now we return to "Really? with Seth and Amy"

Who pukes in a sink? I mean, really. In most cases (including ours) the toilet is like 3 feet away. You really didn't have the time to move 3 feet? Really?! Even if you didn't, you probably could have projectile vomited the 3 feet to the toilet. Puke in the sink is gross. It's extremely difficult to clean up, since the drain gets clogged easily. And that's the sink that every single party-goer uses when they go to the bathroom. When there's puke in the sink, nobody washes their hands. And you know what else happens at parties? People meet new people. Meaning handshakes. So now we've got gross hand germs spreading like wildfire, all because you couldn't take the one step to the toilet, Sink-Puker. I mean, really.

Who pukes on a towel hanging in a bathroom? Really. It's hanging ABOVE THE TOILET. If you had rotated your face 90 degrees, the puke would have landed in the toilet. Really. I wonder what was going through your head at the time. "You know, this seems like a decent enough towel, but I think it would be more effective at drying wet persons if it had vomit on it. BLLLEEEAAAHHHH. Ah, much better." Really.

Who pukes on a couch? Nobody wants that. Really, Couch-Puker? Really? People want to sit on that couch. The least you could do is, um, I dunno, not puke on the couch. And what happens if someone gets too drunk and has to sleep on that couch? Actually, I guess the most likely candidate for that is you, Couch-Puker, so maybe it'll work out. Then again, maybe it's just disgusting. Really.

Who pukes on themself? Really. Who is just sitting there, having a good time, not realizing they're about to spew, and then all of a sudden just throws up in their own lap? And who actually has the composure to keep the vomit contained within the space occupied by their body and not let it reach their host's furniture? That is very impressive, Auto-Puker. Really. Kudos.

This has been another episode of "Really? with Seth and Amy"