The Mystery of Downsview Station

My New Year's Eve began with a near-miss. Around 1:15PM, I asked my mom, who had been graciously doing some laundry for me, where my jeans were. She was horrified to report that they had not made their way to the dryer yet. My friend Fed was set to pick me up for the drive to Toronto around "1:30 or 2", and since I spent most of the Christmas break in warmer weather, the jeans were the only pair of pants I brought back from Ottawa. I almost had to go to Toronto wearing no pants.

As it turned out, another friend was delayed getting into London from New York, and my pants were given ample time to dry, so it all worked out. I did have one alternative: my engineering coveralls, clearly not an outfit fit for a big night on the town. But as you shall soon discover, dear reader, perhaps wearing the coveralls would have been for the better.

Fast forward to arrival in Toronto around 6:30. We settled in at our first location, a friend's house in Cabbagetown. We stayed for 3 or 4 hours, have dinner, watched some Canada/USA hockey, and began the night's consumption. I won't catalogue all that was consumed, but suffice it to say it was varied and extensive.

Around 10 or 11 we headed to another friend's house, this time around Bloor and Ossington (I don't know what the name of that neighborhood is.... I think it's close to Koreatown). We hung out there for a while and then headed to a bar near Queen and Bathurst shortly before the countdown. 

According to my friends, I probably wandered out of the bar around 12:30. I woke up at Downsview Station at 4 with two freakish rips in my pants, an injured knuckle, bizarre residue from my iron ring, and a lack of my hat, gloves, scarf, and most importantly, glasses. (For those who don't know Toronto, Downsview is the end of the main subway line, very far away from downtown.)

These are the facts. A multitude of questions spring to mind, and perhaps we can make some inferences that will help in solving... The Mystery of Downsview Station.

1) Why did I leave the bar? Was I not having fun? Given my state, that seems unlikely. My friends asked at the end of the night whether anyone had been bounced from the bar, and the only culprit was "some guy with a f***ed up face". Despite all that had transpired, I don't think I fit that description.

2) Where was I planning to go? I was staying with my friend Mark who lives downtown, near the bus station. But Mark was part of the group at the bar, and didn't leave until I had been gone for more than an hour. I wouldn't have been able to get into Mark's place without him.

3) Why did I get on the subway? The streetcar would have been a much more logical way to get to Mark's place, since it zips along Queen. To get to the subway would have required either walking up to Bloor and Bathurst or over to University and Queen, both fairly long walks.

4) What happened to my glasses and auxiliary winter clothing? My friends later informed me that the coat situation at the bar was extremely disorganized, coats were lying all over the floor, and one friend had his coat stolen. That evidently did not happen to me, as I was still wearing it upon waking up. However, that could have been the fate of my hat, gloves and scarf. I consider this possibility to be unlikely though, since it doesn't explain the disappearance of my glasses; despite my state, I don't think I would have taken them off in the bar.

Therefore, it's more likely I left the bar with all that stuff intact, and we didn't part ways until the subway phase of my journey. Perhaps I took my hat etc. off when I realized I was drifting off and put them on the seat beside me, available for any jerk to snatch.

5) When and how did I rip my pants? And how did they get ripped in such a non-random way? 

The 2 rips are exactly the same length and dead straight, at right angles to each other. Also, there's a small-scale version in the exact same shape on my other knee. Finally, why isn't there a corresponding injury? This whole pants rippage might be the weirdest part of the night.

6) When did my iron ring start leaking weird black stuff? (I tried to take a picture, but my webcam has terrible resolution, and it's mostly faded by this point anyway.) The ring leaving residue on my finger is not a new thing; most notably, salt water produces an orangey hue. I've never seen black before, though. What substance did my hand immerse itself in to produce this blackness? Is this connected somehow to the pants rip?

As you can see, this is a complicated situation, and I'm not sure I have the sleuthing ability to solve it. What prompted me to leave a bar where I was presumably having a good time? Did I rip my pants at the bar and decide to search for late-night mending? Is extra-terrestrial life trying to send a message to humanity through my pants? (I may need to re-phrase that...) Does the black residue have something to do with my intended destination? 

A new Sherlock Holmes movie starring Robert Downey Jr. is coming out in November, but I can't wait that long to know what happened to me that fateful night. Perhaps there is another detective in our midst, one who can piece together the seemingly unconnected fragments of my memory to solve... The Mystery of Downsview Station.